Sleep apnea — I’ve had it since I was a teen or earlier. Why did it take me to age 63 to actually get help?
The reason might be my age. Although I had inflamed tonsils as a child, no one thought to look for obstructive sleep apnea. I had frequent nightmares, dreams of falling which jolted me awake, uncontrollable daydreaming, and an inability to respond assertively in stressful social situations. This led to monthly tantrums that lasted all day. These might’ve been personality problems, but really they might’ve been due to a lack of proper oxygen at night.
My sleep doctor says that many cases of ADD and ADHD are linked to sleep apnea in children and undiagnosed adults.
I have lived alone for many years. Part of this is because I was such a dragon in the morning that I chased away several potential mates! I just couldn’t be awake for a couple of hours.
I have been in a household where everyone’s bedrooms were very separate. Occasionally, someone would make a joke about my snoring. This was never thought of as a serious problem by anyone, including me. As I went through menopause, though, I dreamed I was in a regular bed when I was actually in a loft, and I slid out of the loft and down to the first floor and broke my wrist.
It wasn’t until I hit my late 50s that the problem started to really drag me down. I couldn’t concentrate, I was going in circles, my dear friend told me that I was not tracking what she said or remembering things. Even though I had nine months at a very nice part-time job with the parks, I never could come up to speed or really learn the tasks I needed to. I lost that job due to an inability to really “get it.” I suspect I was micro napping in between sentences. (Don’t worry though, I now have a job with far fewer hours that I can handle really well, especially since I now have a sleep machine.)
I started to worry about dementia. Then another dear friend slept in the same room with me after a party. But the problem is, she couldn’t sleep! She said I was yelling and talking in my sleep, tossing, turning, snoring very loudly, and was very restless in bed and she couldn’t sleep. She recommended I look into that. It took me over a year and a half to actually get it together to go do that.
I suggest that if you suspect someone you know of sleep apnea, take their hand and make an appointment for them and go with them to the doctor.
The person with sleep apnea may not be able to actually do this for themselves. They may be doing absolutely as much as they can every day and that limit is much lower than other people’s limits.
A lot of doctors want to prescribe something for the person for a symptom they are having, rather than looking for a root cause such as inadequate sleep!
None of my doctors ever decided I needed a sleep study. I had to insist on one. Still, no doctor took me seriously.
Finally, I was prescribed a psychiatrist. She helped me get the correct dosage to get my depression fully under control. Because of that, I had hope that she might listen to me in other ways. My psychiatrist listened carefully to what I had to say, and because she is knowledgeable, she agreed to arrange a sleep study for me. Otherwise, I might still be spitting in the wind.
My sleep doctor interviewed me and was the one who diagnosed the structural sleep apnea problem. She also stated that many illnesses and depression and physical breakdown of tissue could happen from sleep apnea. She said it could even lead to death. That really woke me up!
Pun intended.
Now that home sleep studies are available, it is not as difficult to get a sleep study approved by your insurance company. Or even by a clinic.
So, homeless people, isolated people, single people, and low income people may need extra assistance in getting this type of help to really get down to the root cause of their problems.
The first morning after getting a sleep machine, I actually woke up after eight hours of sleep (instead of 9 to 12), and was fully awake. I was cheerful, active, and had no trouble remembering what I needed to do to get ready for my day. After a week or so, I was able to make other appointments for other health conditions, which might actually be related to sleep apnea! But anyway, they need to be looked at.
After a month, people remarked that I look beautiful, that they could see a huge difference in me. I noticed that I can see very clearly, I am focused, I notice details, the blue circles under my eyes are turning skin colored instead of blue, and my mood is far more stable. My memory is improving. Even things that I couldn’t remember when I was supposed to be learning them are coming back to me fairly clearly now. It is as if they were buried somewhere. Grief that has disabled me for years is easing.
My back pain and muscle pain is down by maybe 70 percent. I still need to stop after three or four hours and lie down, but those lie-downs are pretty brief: 20 to 60 minutes.The back and muscle pain is no longer something I have to grit my teeth through until my shift is over. No ibuprofen is allowed in combination with my medication.
And I often don’t sleep. I just relax. I still need naps occasionally, but I am no longer the perennial napper. After childhood, I never quit napping. Daily. My college friends used to wake me up in the student lounge before class. They felt compassion toward the fact that I struggled to wake up in the afternoon. And in the morning for that matter. Perhaps afternoon compulsive napping is also a symptom of sleep apnea.
Let me say that I was always considered a bright student. I did not struggle with weight problems until my 30s, was at my ideal weight all through my 40s and 50s, and generally was perceived as intelligent, capable, and potential leadership material. I never was able to come up to that. I think it was because of this condition.
In my opinion, other symptoms to look out for: nicknames such as space cadet, scatter, loony (or behind their back: ghost, spooky, flake, incompetence king, etc). Blue circles around the eyes, “laziness,” somnolence, sudden energy ups and downs. Checkered and unpredictable performance at work or sports. Mysterious itching and burning skin. Swelling, weight gain not due to a change in other habits, despair, withdrawal from social activities.
If you feel irritated at this person for, “not coming up to their potential,” this might be because they can’t actually get there because the person isn’t getting enough rest.
The inability to recover from grief — the kind that lasts years and years — could be because they aren’t able to do what other people are able to do — sleep it off. Think about it. We say, “time will heal,” but isn’t it really the number of times you get to sleep?
The literature does not imply anything as serious as what I feel I have gone through. I feel the internal organs, brain function, depression, muscle spasms, spinal degeneration and the inability to perform at my best at work and in relationships are far more consequential than what the medical literature states.
My whole life path has been one big struggle, which has included homelessness due to poverty. If the symptom had been caught early in my life, I think that would’ve been different. But I suppose it is never too late to, “be alert to the prime of my life, whenever that happens to appear!
For more information or to take a self diagnostic test, try this resource: https://www.americansleepmedicine.com/locations. They are located in Nashville and Franklin. They are compassionate, take ObamaCare, and are very friendly people.