How Long?
Sitting in a doctors office waiting on test results finally the doctor comes in
and apologizes sorry for the wait
Good news he says, your numbers look GREAT!
You graciously smile and nod and shake his hand
Still you find yourself wondering
Why do I feel SO bad?
Looking out the window before you leave,
and what do you see?
In the distance there’s a small grove of trees
Most are lush and green
But in the midst of these
There stands one stripped of its beauty,
sapped of its strength, completely barren, with no leaves
Nothing to protect its branches from the days scorching heat
It’s as though the other trees and greenery round
about were draining this once majestic centerpiece of glorious crown
Exposing the frailty of its boughs
What once stood tall, rock solid, immovable, and proud,
with roots that ran deep into the ground
Is now left tired, weak, fragile, falling down,
A shell of what once stood in its place
How long will it continue to stand against the
elements until it breaks down you wonder
How long before it is completely sawed asunder
The heat, the cold, the wind, and the rain, that come against it each and every day,
How long can it last?
There’s no way to know for sure
Only time will tell just how long it will endure
Until nothing’s left of what it once was
And fades away
Like a distant memory from the past.
No Way Out
I wrote the first part of this poem at a time when both people and doctors were telling me I was “looking good,” and all my medical test results were great, but I didn’t feel that way, and I honestly didn’t know why. I mean, I’d been through much worse in my life than what I was going through at that time.
As is often the case with me, just when I had reached my breaking point, something or someone showed me there was indeed a light at the end of the long dark tunnel I’d found myself in, and the poem went into my drafts folder where it remained until the day I met Kristen.
She was walking down the sidewalk as so many others do.
As she passed by, I simply said, “Hi, how are you?” She smiled and softly said, “I’m fine.” But there was something about her demeanor that spoke louder than her voice that said she was anything but fine.
I said to her, “Yeah I’ve been that kind of ‘fine’ before too. The kind where you hope no one can see through the mask you’re wearing, the kind where you hope you can hold on to that smile just long enough to get around the corner and out of sight before you burst into tears.”
Then I said, “You know, I’m gonna be out here ALL DAY selling papers IF you wanna talk.” With that away she went.
She returned a few minutes later. No words were spoken at first. She just cried.
Once she calmed down she explained she was in an abusive relationship, and had three small children.
She went on to say that she’d tried several times to leave, but each time he ALWAYS finds them, and now she has nowhere else to go.
As she talked I could see her start to relax a bit, that is, until her phone rang.
An angry male voice on the other end of the line said, “So you think you can just walk out on me?!” She tried to explain, her voice now trembling, “I just went to get something from the store.”
His response?
“I’m gonna have to teach you a lesson!”
I knew EXACTLY what that meant, and so did she.
I tried to convince her NOT to go back. That’s when she told me, “I have to go back. My kids are there, but don’t worry he won’t hurt them, just me.” She said it crying once again.
With that comment, I realized either she’s relatively new to this type of abuse or she’s in denial.
In reality, one in 15 children in that type of situation become a victim of domestic violence themselves and 90 percent of the children witness the abuse of their loved ones firsthand (according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence), leaving these innocent victims with emotional scars that can last for a lifetime — even damaging future relationships.
Sadly, I don’t know what happened to Kristen. I haven’t seen her since that day.
I ask for prayers for this young woman and her children in the hope that they do not become just another statistic in the ugliness that is domestic violence.
If you are having a mental health crisis or are feeling suicidal PLEASE call/text 988 to speak with someone 24/7.
If you are experiencing domestic violence PLEASE contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline @ 1-800-799-7233 to speak with someone 24/7 or text START to 88788.