Those who are familiar with my writing may know I’ve written about marriage before from a long term perspective. Fifty years to be exact.
I thought it might be nice to look at marriage from the other end of the spectrum, from a couple still in the newlywed stage about to celebrate their first wedding anniversary: Rockmore and Linda.
Linda is a co-editor of The Contributor. She and Rockmore met online on February 2, 2021, and arranged to meet in person a few days later when he adjusted the route of his upcoming travel plans to include a stop in Nashville where she resides.
A long walk led to spending five or six days together.
Linda says it wasn’t just the little things like enjoying conversations with one another, or watching the same tv shows that made their relationship work. It was also the bigger things like caring for people in the same way and perhaps most important of all, the fact that they share the same core values that drew her closer to him.
For his part, Rockmore says from the moment they met there was NEVER any doubt or hesitation on his part. “It was all systems go,” he said. “There were no red flags as far as Linda was concerned.”
Although he obviously didn’t know EVERYTHING about her, what he did know up to that point he loved, and EVERYTHING he continues to learn he loves.
I asked each of them about their partner’s most endearing qualities. Linda’s reply?
She said Rockmore often anticipates her needs and the needs of others around him. Another quality she admires about him is that he’s a quick learner and is ALWAYS teaching himself new things. She continued on saying he is very observant, an incredible listener, he’s hilarious and brilliant. High praise from his beautiful bride.
As for Rockmore, he said it was her laugh that initially put him at ease, but that was just a tease. He noted how deeply she feels her own emotions and those of others around her, understanding their needs, providing assistance in whatever way she can, whether it’s in an emotional, physical, or spiritual way and often times in ways they don’t even realize they need.
In a very short time, Linda and Rockmore discovered they had SO much in common. That, in turn, led to even more long conversations, and many interesting road trips in Rockmore’s van.
They’ve had quite a few since they first met, and they’ve spent quality time together, having some unique adventures along the way!
Linda recalled a road trip over a Thanksgiving holiday where they stopped and ate turkey sandwiches together in a gas station parking lot.
Rockmore’s “special times/places” list included sitting and talking on a bench in a Georgia cemetery and an Air B&B in Abilene, TX where he met many other members of her family in a time of difficulty.
I liked his conclusion most of all: “It doesn’t matter where we are as long as we are in a space together. THAT is what makes it SPECIAL!”
So just how did these two decide that it was time for them to take the next step and become man and wife? No, Rockmore DID NOT decide on this by himself. He sought out the help of Linda’s best friend to help determine the things Linda might like best.
Then one day, seemingly out of the blue, they both had a day off together, so they met for breakfast and all the pieces fell into place. As they worked a crossword puzzle together, they engaged in conversation about their relationship, their feelings, and their future and decided TOGETHER just as they have done ALL things since their relationship began that it was time for them to get married, for these two to become one!
(In case you think this proposal is different or even a bit strange, I’ve heard directly from the source herself it was EXACTLY what she’d ALWAYS wanted, the proposal of her dreams!)
I asked each of them after one year of marriage what is the BEST part of being married?
Initially, Linda noted the practicality of filing their taxes jointly, but they both agreed they LOVE that they’re in a partnership, working together as a team, knowing that they are better prepared to handle WHATEVER life throws at them, and that they will be together at the end of the day no matter what.
So far the process has been fun, and they are happy with the arrangement, but they admit it has been an adjustment learning how to compromise instead of handling things each on their own, all the while combining two homes and lives into one.
What advice would they give to those contemplating marriage? They attribute their success thus far to the fact that they waited until they were older to get married (they’re both in their 30’s.) They also noted the importance of communication, stating it is VITAL to the success of ANY relationship you’re in.
They also said ‘they’d, “rather talk through hard things than not talk at all.”
It sounds like pretty good advice to me!
I think it’s pretty clear that they are STILL in the honeymoon phase, and no one knows what lies ahead, but this I DO know for sure, as long as they stay on the path they’re on and lean on each other when things go wrong, they WILL without a doubt remain strong, and there’s NOTHING these two can’t endure!