I often comment on cars of ALL KINDS when they’re stuck in traffic while I’m selling the paper. I’ve seen everything from antique autos (I recently came across a 1965 Ford Galaxy 500, a replica of the original police car from The Andy Griffith Show), to the snazzy sports cars (I’m especially fond of convertibles) and even Volkswagens will get a shout out (my mom loved them, she had two when I was young: a red one and a green one).
In my area there are a few cars that stand out. One is red and painted to look like a beetle black — spots and all. Another one is pretty, pink and it is clearly a girl complete with long eyelashes painted on the headlights that would make any woman jealous. There’s also one that resembles Herbie the love bug complete with the 53 painted on the hood with red, white, and blue striping.
Doing this can be a real conversation starter, and people do LOVE to talk about their cars — especially guys!
I often tell people that even though I don’t drive, I can still appreciate a fine piece of machinery. The only driving I do is driving people crazy, and I’ve been told I’m pretty good at that!
The question that ALWAYS comes up is “why don’t you drive?” Or “you should learn to drive, you can do it!” While I appreciate the vote of confidence, I’m afraid you’re wrong.
My reply is always the same, “The world is a much safer place since I don’t drive!” Why do I say that? Imagine the following scenarios:
When I was eight or nine my dad came for a visit in his shiny new red pickup truck. While visiting his parents (my grandparents) in the country on the Cheatham/Dickson County line he decided to give me my first driving lesson.
It was in the country, what could possibly go wrong? I was excited and extremely nervous — justifiably so.
When I almost drove his truck into the fishing pond my driving lesson was abruptly canceled, never to be repeated again!
Now I know you’re probably thinking, I was young, and you’re right, but there’s more.
Later when I was a preteen/teenager my Pop used to let me drive his old John Deere around the yard. Harmless, right? Well, it was that is until I ran over the rock path that led to the front porch, flipping the mower and taking out a section of the fence in the process. Even the cows in the pasture were confused about what was going on, some of them now meandering into the front yard, not to mention scaring my poor Pop to death! I was ok. I just curled up in the fetal position in the small opening between the seat and the ground. Lucky, I know, but banned from driving ANY more of his farm equipment for life!
After I got married, my husband was convinced that I couldn’t possibly be that bad at driving, and he entrusted me with the keys to the new lawnmower I bought for him. It proved to be a bad decision on his part. Only after seeing for himself just how bad a driver I really was, did he restrict my use of the riding mower, from then on I was only allowed to use a push mower.
To add further credence to the fact that I shouldn’t drive, reflect on this.
When I was in college, I took a test to determine if I had a math disability because no matter what I did I couldn’t get above a C! I WAS NOT accustomed to that! (It is the only C on my college transcript.)
At the conclusion of the test, it was determined I didn’t have a learning disability, I just wasn’t good at Algebra, but the examiner told me, “I do know why you don’t drive,” explaining, “if I ask you to do something with your eyes, hands, or feet you can do it, but when I ask you to put it all together (as you do when you drive), you have a MAJOR meltdown.” It’s like my brain just short circuited! I COULD NOT do it!
Now I’m not one to give up easily, so when yet another opportunity presented itself (my friend and former roommate Cheryl told me, “she could teach ANYONE to drive”) I tried again. Throughout the process there were a number of close calls. I won’t list them all here, it would take far too long, but there is one that really stands out.
She had me practice driving in a school zone. (School WAS NOT in session and yes, I had a valid learner’s permit.) So with Cheryl beside me in the passenger seat, and her three children Logan, David, and Brianne in the back seat, I tried again carefully following her instructions to the letter.
When she told me to turn, I did, and somehow ended up on the sidewalk in front of the school! (This IS NOT an exaggeration!) She looked at me as if in a state of shock and said, “Maybe you shouldn’t drive.” My reply? “Really? You think so?” I’ve been trying to tell people that for years. Especially those who cite the old adage, “Give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime.”
Trust me when I say there are PLENTY of people like me out there who have absolutely NO BUSINESS with a driver’s license! I see them on a regular basis as I’m selling the paper!
As for Cheryl, she did give me a very appropriate gift to mark the occasion, a keychain that said, “if you don’t like the way I drive, stay off of the sidewalk.”
That was my last attempt at learning how to drive, and as I said earlier, the world is much safer because I DON’T drive!
That’s why I leave the driving to MTA!
At this point, I’d like to give a BIG shout out to ALL the schedulers and drivers that do their best to make sure my family and I get to our various destinations safely.
They don’t have such an affordable transportation program where I come from in Sumner County, so THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for ALL you do serving the disabled community in Davidson County.