When I was a kid I liked going to where my dad worked. Partly because it wasn’t home and it wasn’t school. But mostly because the receptionist at the front office had a little bowl with strawberry candies in it. “Just take one,” he’d say. But I’d always sneak an extra for later. Maybe that’s when I stopped saying what I wanted and just sneaking what I thought I could have. And maybe, Leo, if we could trust that we’ll get enough we can start saying out loud what we want and need. Take all the candies you want right now, Leo. There will be more when you need them.
VIRGO
Do you think we’ve passed it yet or is it still coming up? I just don’t know if I can really make any more plans until I know, Virgo. Has the hottest day of the summer already hit or will it be next week? Or maybe the one after that? It just seems like this heat is dragging on a little longer than usual. And it makes me not want to get started. There are always factors we can’t predict, Virgo, but that’s an even better reason to get moving on things today.
LIBRA
It’s a good time to plant trees, Libra, these next few months. The heat will be dwindling soon but we’ve got a good stretch where the ground is still warm, enough for those roots to stretch out and grow. So much has to happen underneath before real growth starts on top. What have you been waiting to start working on, Libra? This might be the season. Go ahead and dig a hole, put something you love down there and water it. Don’t worry about flourishing, just focus on the start. Give those roots room to spread and this time next year you’ll be amazed at what you’ve got.
SCORPIO
Wowch! That spot on my thumb is still puffy and sore! It’s a little warm and seems to be oozing something sinister. I was sure it would get better by now. It’s been a week since I pulled out the splinter. But when I push around on it, I can still feel..yeah I think there’s still some wood in there. A little piece broke off and…mmff…I think I can dig it out. Yep, yep, that’s a whole other splinter in there. Sometimes when the healing won’t happen, you’ve got to go back in and dig around. Maybe there’s something you left unextracted, Scorpio. Don’t let it fester too long.
SAGITTARIUS
Remember a couple of weeks ago when you were suddenly very into Olympic badminton? You were explaining to me how it was the fastest racket sport in the world and how it’s been played for over 2,000 years. You knew the names of all the players and their rankings and now you never even want to talk about badminton at all. It’s OK, Sagittarius, you don’t have to be a lifetime badminton aficionado. (Although I did get you a gift subscription to Badminton Aficionado Magazine.) I just wanted to remind you that you can still get interested in new things. You’ve got a lot of attention to give and I think you should give it to things that excite you.
CAPRICORN
How many fingers am I holding up, Capricorn? I know it’s hard to tell at this distance, since we’re not in the same room and you’re reading this at some point after now when I’m writing it. But I want you to focus on the question and give your best answer. I want you to hold up the same number of fingers you think I’m holding up. Go ahead. That’s incredible, Capricorn! You got it right! That seems impossible, but you guessed the exact right number! What else can you get right today with just a little focus?
AQUARIUS
I’m not sure how well you keep up with amateur astrology news, Aquarius, but things are getting pretty exciting. Dr. Wayne Conundra just announced he’s stepping down as head of the School For The Future, and his replacement will be Chairman Denise Melchior-Gloss from the Astral Aurora Academy. Of course, it’s a huge deal because last year the AAA officially denounced Dr. Conundra’s position on Vedic Synastry and so the SFTF cut funding for their joint Apotelesma program which everybody assumes Melchior-Gloss will reinstate. I’m sorry, Aquarius, I can really get going on this stuff. Keep in mind this week that the most important stories in your world may not be the most important stories in the world.
PISCES
When I find myself in times of trouble, Pisces, I usually wait for some gentle reassurance from the universe. And, if I’m being honest, it often doesn’t come at all. No word from a long-lost friend. No inquisitive bird on the windowsill. No overheard words of wisdom from the next table over. And the longer I wait, the lonelier and more off track I start to feel. If that’s where you’re at today, Pisces, try not to let it be too long. Throw out a line. Show up and tell somebody how hard it is.
ARIES
Sometimes I try to make it a competition for myself. Just how many screens can I be on at the same time. I’m already flipping through my phone while watching TV. Why not get out the laptop? Maybe I can get my watch involved. I could even try to reset the oven clock while I’m skimming and scanning and switching. And if I can do that for five minutes straight, maybe I’ll earn a break from all of it. Maybe we can put down every single screen and just look at the room we’re in, Aries. Maybe we’ll even notice who else is around. Or who’s missing.
TAURUS
They say our rituals tell us who we are. That’s why every morning I wake up at the sound of my alarm and take a calm, slow, deep breath. Then I roll over, fall back asleep and wake up again 25 minutes later panicking. Then I throw on clothes, push a tiny bit of toothpaste around my mouth with my finger, dive into my car and realize my shoes don’t match. This ritual really helps set my expectations for the day and keeps me centered throughout the week. What do your daily rituals tell you about yourself, Taurus? Do you like the ones you’ve got?
GEMINI
I got my old bike out just like I’ve been promising to do all summer. I put air on the tires and a little oil on the chain and took it out front and hopped on. It was great for the first ¾ of a rotation but then the front wheel stopped cold and I nearly fell frontwise over the handlebars. I couldn’t get the brakes to let go of the tire. It was just stopped in place. If your forward momentum seems to be ending before you’ve even gotten out of the driveway. Gemini, you may find that it’s a simple adjustment. Get your tire on straight. Adjust that front brake. And if that doesn’t work it may be a better day for a walk.
CANCER
How am I this tired at the end of every work day, Cancer? Is it the heat? Is it the looming threat of civilizational collapse? Is it the family-size Stauffer’s lasagna that I’ve been bringing in for lunch every day this week? (I got a great deal on a 12-pack!) It’s hard to locate the many causes of our multiple exhaustions, Cancer. But the best cure I’ve found is twofold. Before you check-out on your futon watching political videos on your phone, do these two things. Take a walk around the block. It doesn’t matter how short the walk is, but try to do it undistracted. Next, reach out to somebody who makes you feel less lonely. A text is fine. Just check-in before you check-out.
Mr. Mysterio is not a licensed astrologer, a trained cyclist, or a registered arborist. Listen to the Mr. Mysterio podcast at mrmysterio.com Or just give him a call at 707-VHS-TAN1
